Have you ever lost sight of who you are? Have you ever said to yourself that the person that I am is not who I want to be? This was me about three months ago. I came to a point in my life where I wasn’t happy or satisfied. I just really lost sight of what mattered in life, and I was feeling the effects of it. I didn’t have a real sense of purpose anymore. The things that I committed myself to were done merely out of obligation. I was just living. When you live your life like that it becomes draining. To live life without a full understanding of your purpose is disheartening. And there comes a point in your life when you get tired of living life that way. I became tired of being sad, tired of being unfulfilled. I hit rock bottom, which was the best thing that ever happened to me. I had a heart to heart with God. I simply said, “I need you to show up in my life and make some big changes. I am not content, and I want more.”
God heard me. I had an opportunity to take my youth group to summer camp. For a week, my kids and I would be disconnected from the world. No cell phones. No televisions. Just God and the bugs. That week was the start of my mind reformation. In that week God really challenged me to look at Him in a new light. He challenged me to look at myself in a new light. He constantly reminded me how great His love is for me, for us! He gently reminded me that I do have a purpose in this world, and reassured to me that I didn’t make the commitment to serve for nothing. So I decided to trust God with my money, my relationships, my time and my whole life.
I came home from camp, and I was lead to read the book of Acts. (This book is pretty cool.) I am amazed at the things written in this book, but there was one passage of scripture that really made me think about life. The story is found in Acts 7. Stephen, a disciple of God, was preaching a sermon. In his sermon he started to explain how life was good for the Jews, specifically during Joseph’s reign. But when Joseph died, I new ruler came and treated the Jews badly. The times were hard; the Jews were oppressed and abused by the Egyptian ruler. Then the scripture says, during that horrible time Moses was born, and he was exceedingly beautiful in his sight. That struck me. Even though there was hate, oppression, and abuse God was still able to see beauty in the midst of all that turmoil. He was able to look past all the junk and focus on something more meaningful. That is really awesome to me.
Our lives can be a living Hell. We can be oppressed by many things. But in the midst of our Hell, can we find beauty? What will you choose to look at or recognize? When we focus on what it happening around us it is easy to get lost in the shuffle. It is easy to become discouraged. My life has not been peaches and cream since summer camp. Life is life. I still go through crazy things. But I am making a conscious decision to notice God’s hand in the midst of my craziness. When “life” is happening I can rely on the beautiful fact that God is God. He is the controller of the whole entire universe, and He loves me. I have to fully trust the fact that God and I have a relationship, and he has my best interest at heart. And that is simply beautiful!
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